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 Round the Raider Bend |
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Saturday, November 14 2009 @ 08:23 AM PST
Contributed by: tenaciousp
Views: 727
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 Raider Round the Bend
I read with bemusement and incredulity where Raider Coach Tom Cable stated he could see the top of the mountain from his primo vantage point.
Recalling that no less than Martin Luther King, Jr. made a similar “I have been to the mountaintop” speech on April 3, 1968—less than 24 hours before he was assassinated—I have a question for Mr. Cable.
Are you stoned or just stupid?
More likely, feeling the whisk of the approaching “National Razor,” Cable’s just gone round the bend.
And who can blame him? On November 15, Oakland plays the only team they can beat twice in a season: Kansas City Chiefs. Yet statistics do not indicate their chances are glowing in this regard. Coming off a BYE week for Oakland is about as favourable as JaMarcus Russell dropping back to pass deep in his own territory on the first offensive play against the New York Jets:
2003 (Week 9) Away NFC. Detroit 23, Oakland 13. QB: Rick Mirer.
2004 (Week 11) Home AFC. San Diego 23, Oakland 17. QB: Kerry Collins.
2005 (Week 6) Home AFC. San Diego 27, Oakland 14. QB: Kerry Collins.
2006: (Week 4) Home AFC. Cleveland 24, Oakland 21. QB: Andrew Walter.
2007: (Week 6) Away AFC. San Diego 28, Oakland 14. QB: Daunte Culpepper.
2008: (Week 6) Away NFC. New Orleans 34, Oakland 3. QB: JaMarcus Russell.
Please take note of the various quarterbacks named. The “Usual Suspects” is too nice a term here—more like “Gang of Incompetents.” As it is, the list is incomplete: Aaron Brooks and Marques Tuiasosopo come to mind. These jokers made Jay Schroeder look like an All-Pro, and that is a stretch of reality—as any erstwhile Los Angeles Raider fan can tell you. We all get a twitch in our eye just at the mention of Schroeder’s name. Year in and year out, Raider fans have to listen to the blather of the next coming of QB Raider Allah. Until that day: the nightmare continues, the dream lives on, the Jim Plunkett albatross lives on forever.
And how did the vaunted Silver and Black do the first time against the hated, despised, rightfully-vilified Chiefs. They won. That’s about all one can say for Oakland. Outgained 409-166, out first-downed 25-11, and coming up short on the clock nearly 2-to-1, the Raiders found a way to win. All that was left was for our fearless leader, Whatmeworry?, to analyze his game in the jubilant locker room:
"I felt really good. The ball was just coming out different for me," Russell said. "Other than that, I felt good."
Newsflash: we didn’t feel good. JaMarcus, not even your mother liked your performance in that game.
Still, winning ugly has been a Raider trademark for decades, and we actually had a spring in our step until Oakland decided to sleepwalk through an entire football game against Denver the following week. As the data above shows, Oakland goes somnolent through any and all post-BYE week games. This is a post-BYE week game, and history's trend blows an ill wind. So what is this writer’s prediction?
Oakland 27, Kansas City 13.
Clearly, like Mountaintop Tom, this fan has gone round the Raider bend.
Craig Parker
Author, Football’s Blackest Hole
Al-Khobar, Saudi Arabia
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